When we feel stuck in life, whether in general, or perhaps in a particular situation like our career or our relationships, it can be really hard to see a clear pathway out.
We’ve all been there – maybe we’re struggling to keep a New Year’s Resolution, or trying to stop a bad habit for the umpteenth time.
It’s very easy for our own minds to act against us, to block clear thinking – by constantly dwelling on the issue, and how it’s preventing us from moving forward, the injustice of it, the unfairness of it; whatever it may be.
What if we could somehow jump forward in time and consult with our future self, who has managed to solve the problem?
They would be able to give us valuable advice that we can’t see right now.
They are us, so we can trust that they want to help us and get us out of the rut.
If you could have a conversation with your future self about your situation, what do you think they would say?
This is a good thought experiment, not only for brainstorming solutions, but also to practice the saying “Be your own best friend.”
After all, life is challenging enough as it is, without you beating yourself up whenever you make a mistake.
Of course, your future self wants the best for you. They would treat you as your best friend would.
So, back to our imaginary conversation with our future self – what advice might they give to us?
Just try writing out what they would say – be open to whatever emerges. You might be surprised at what comes out.
I tried this yesterday and I found that it was quite easy to produce what my future self might say.
The reason is that deep down, I already knew what I should be doing, and this experiment just gave me the opportunity to voice it. But until I did this exercise, I had been feeling quite stuck and unsure of the next actions to take.
My sense is that doing this technique gives your subconscious the ‘permission’ to reveal the deeper knowledge and intuition you feel in your gut about your circumstances.
I understand that this process might be tough for many people.
If you find this difficult, first try imagining your future self fully.
What kind of person are they? How do they think about things? How would they see your current problem? What solutions would they come up with? What viewpoint would they have?
If it helps, you could think of them as a ‘higher’ or ‘better’ version of you.
Then have the conversation with them. You could imagine it in your mind, or type it out, however you want to go through it.
I suspect that, more often than not, by doing this you would be able to see the solutions to get you out of your current predicament.
You might not like them. And they might not be easy.
But if we’re totally honest with ourselves (and why would your future self try to deceive you?), a lot of the time we already know deep down what we need to do and what actions to take.
Our minds find it easy to suppress these thoughts because we might perceive the solutions to be negative or detrimental to us in some way.
I like to remember one of my favourite quotes from the Stoic philosopher Epictetus:
“It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.”
The way out of our situation may seem negative, but that is only our judgment of it.
We have the power to change how we react to anything.
What if you tried to look at your situation from another perspective? It might give you new insights, and therefore new possibilities to consider.
Try having a conversation with your future self.
You never know, maybe they can help you see the way forward :)
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